The schizophrenia of awareness

More and more lately, I find myself torn between opposite impulses. As the tangible reality of energy and its power permeate my life a little more each day, I struggle with my human reactions to things, people and events. As I open social media, my feed is full of news that by all account warrant my anger, outrage and grief. But I am all too aware now that this anger would travel quickly and only fuel the egregor that is at the origin of the event or situation itself. I cannot pretend ignorance anymore of the kind of influence we as individuals have on the world we live in, not only in our actions, but in our thought and our (un)ability to transmute our emotions into something that will not feed the harmful forces that are at play in our physical reality.

But how to live this, or communicate about it in a way that respects people's justified outrage, still eludes me. I mean, I still struggle to not "send" my annoyance at someone walking too slowly in the street in front of me, or my anger at people I love when their behavior doesn't fit my projection of what it should be. How can I decently say to anyone that the way they are reacting to appalling injustice, pointless violence or harmful decisions motivated by greed is actually strengthening what they want to fight against? 

How to bring that awareness across, and what to do with it myself, are still questions I struggle with every day. And even though I know it is vital for the growth of our planet that people become aware of how their own energy often sustains what they loath, I am reluctant to talk about it, mostly because I doubt my own ability to walk my talk. Should something terrible happen to me or mine, would I be able to deal with my rage in a way that would not be detrimental for humans as a whole ? Would I be able to experience it without sending it? Would I be able to stand on the side of love, no matter what ? The truth is, I don't know. At this point, if I'm being honest, probably not.  

So the question stays open. How to make things change without feeding the other side? How to create a form of activism that is both efficient and aware, knows how to transmute anger into a tool for evolution, addresses the systemic causes of what they want to change as well as the present ones, and defends the greater good from a stance of Light? Is it even possible, on a global scale, at this stage of human consciousness ? I want to believe it is, because otherwise our world is doomed, caught in a cycle of energy that will never run out, where the perpetrators can reach at will into the well of anger and hate constantly being refilled by the victims. But I have no answers, just my desire to do what is most right ; to strive to meet everyone in my life with kindness and compassion. Somehow, today, it doesn't feel like enough.